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I'm back. It's been too long and, frankly, I have been lazy. I define "lazy" as not doing what you know you should when you know you should. So, with apologies and humility, I have returned. Update: I am now 11 years into retirement and am feeling pretty good about my use of this flexible time I earned. At least it feels well spent. I'm growing in my skills and dealing with many new challenges every day. It's a great time to be alive even though the society we live in abounds with naysayers, fault-finders and, frankly, a negative stream of complaining and whining like I've never seen before. I believe one of the great gifts God gave to His creation is adaptability. And to prove it to us, He allows challenges and obstacles in our paths so we may grow, learn and improve. There is purpose in our "being". Since retirement I have written and arranged 20+ songs I've discovered I love textile...

The first of many finger pricks and pictures of Mom holding #BenBrave. Gathering facts is tedious. Often it involves discomfort due to fasting, finger-pokes, cuffs that squeeze uncomfortable sterilization swabs that sting, cold gels and even colder scanning tools, and loooooong waits. But after progressing over about 3 months from stomach flu, to pneumonia with dehydration, to anemia, and to possible enlarged spleen we had an answer! It was an 11cm x 8cm x 11cm mass next to #BenBrave's left kidney. Cancer type: Wilms tumor. The doctor was quick to add "this is treatable - operable" and even shared about a 2-1/2-year-old who had this and was now five, healthy and thriving. What a trooper! THOUGHT INTERRUPTION: You know, when you have a say in the care given, it is much easier to receive. The technicians would always ask this little guy which ...

Intensity of hurt and joy. Photo source: Pixabay.com We had some major "overcoming moments" this weekend. The joy we felt solving the problem together was intense. Anxiety. Overwhelmed. Helpless. Clueless. All seemed to prevail. But THEN ... problem solved. Breakthrough! Joy abounds. It was intense. We wake this morning to enjoy our victory yet, the intensity went full swing the other way. Those strong senses of gratitude and deep love and appreciation were quickly washed away with harsh words. Impatience. Sting of rebuke. Tears wanted to come and then I heard in my head "do not let Satan steal your joy." Immediately I thanked God for that reminder. This is the enemy identified. The ambush was intense. Brief. And the skirmish resolved quickly.  I wiped my tears and thought about the joy of yesterday and the hurt of just now. How equally intense they are. Then I remembered an even more intense joy. A few years back I was driving to work. One of my habits has be...

#BenBrave finds a jungle gym at our local dairy store.  "It's a Wilms' tumor," said my son. "And OU Children's Medical Center has one of The. Leading. Experts. on Wilms' tumor." Once again, God provides and amazes us all. You may read about Wilms' tumors on the American Cancer Society website. Surgery is scheduled and my son said, "unleash the prayer warriors". Prayer Warriors Unleashed What would we do without prayer warriors?  To me a prayer warrior is someone who has a personal relationships with Jesus Christ, believes in the Triune God, and you may ask to pray for you And. They. Will!  Their belief is critical to this definition because it unites our faith in prayer. What's the point in praying to a god you do not believe in? I don't want to disparage other believers in other faiths, but there is power in unity and I personally qualify my prayer warriors to tap into that unified focus of faith. I don't know a...

Hope in Scripture is not wishful thinking. Hope is guaranteed delivery. But you have to believe it. Draw on it. Count on it like you do the money in your bank account. It is there for the usage. Makes me think of the movie "You've Got Mail" but it isn't cute, is it? Just remembering that fateful day in February 2019 starts the flow of tears down my face. My son called from the parking lot. "Mom," he says, "as the technician performed the ultrasound I saw this blackness." At that moment he knew his 20-month-old son had cancer. He told me the technician's eyes filled with tears. So, he asked about what she saw and she was quick to apologize for her "lack of professionalism." She said, "You see, I lost my mother to cancer just last week." What is a father to do? Well, first. He cries his heart out. The lamentation from my son was gut-wrenchingly heart-breaking. We cried together on the phone while I liste...

Flawed but finished. The original is much prettier, but I'm a beginner in following knitting directions. I sense a do-over coming! You know that crochet and knit project? Well, I've done both off and on throughout my life. This traveling afghan project, however, is teaching me so-o-o-o very much. I've completed all the squares provided thus far. The crochet pieces (3 of them thus far) are completed and look really good. I breezed through those. But then the knitting has a very different story to tell. I lost count of how many times I had to start square 2 over again. I know it was at least 10 times I yanked out every stitch. However, at this point, there are only two squares to complete and, they are done , but square 2 was really hard for me. I am grateful the decision to do it over is totally up to me. But I kinda like my flawed effort. The perfectionist in me whispers and nags me "Re-do it! Re-do it!". But the realist in me says "keep i...

For me, anyway, just what does "abundance" look like? At least 10% (tithe) of my gross to my church. Contribute at least 10% or more into savings. Pay my bills immediately upon receipt. Simple, right? WRONG! Realization: I've just committed 20% of my income ... wait! Uncle Sam gets 20-30% of my income so now I'm expected to budget my living expenses (including my MORTGAGE) off of half my gross income!?!?! Can that be right? Right! Prepare to be amazed. I remember reading Matthew 5-7 often referred to as the "Sermon on the Mount." In the heart of this sermon (Matt. 6:19-24) is the following words: 19  “Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth,  where moths and vermin destroy,  and where thieves break in and steal.   20  But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven,  where moths and vermin do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal.   21  For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also. ...

This exercise peels your "why" down to the very center. Heart issues are tough to diagnose. I'd like to take a little sidebar moment here to look at the underlying "why" of our predicament. I read about a great exercise, recently, to help a person discover their deepest motivation behind a habit, a new commitment, or just about any endeavor. It's quite simple. You answer the question: "I would like to do _________ because _________." Then take your "because" blank move it to the "do" blank and answer that over and over again. So, to example this I will use my heart issue: I would like to be debt free  because I'm tired of watching the bills get bigger. I am tired of watching the bills get bigger because I can't save any money. I can't save any money  because I keep spending everything I earn. I keep spending everything I earn  because I want more than I need. I want more than I need  because I want...

NOTE: I labeled these so I would know  my original intent. I hope that doesn't express doubt for even getting started! I just wonder how many times we've all reenergized and re-upped at the beginning of a year? Well, I'm guilty of another start up. Today, I started a new project: The Traveling Afghan. I love to crochet and to knit. And my favorite resource for yarns and patterns in LionBrands.com. They came out with this Traveling Afghan project. Someone organized 49 designers all over the world to create a 10"x10" square, add it to the afghan, and ship it on to the next designer. When finished we will have a nice afghan. I couldn't resist. Every two weeks I can finish a 10x10 square, right? So next there was the kit: Crochet? Knit? OK. I crochet just fine. Easy, right? But knitting? This offers an intermediate skill level for both so I decided it is time to improve my knitting abilities. I GOT BOTH! THEN, what color. That was so hard but I...

My first step was to budget and follow our money in a way that made sense to us. I talked to many folks about how they managed their finances. Including my parents who lived debt-free their entire life with one tiny exception: the occasional XX-days-same-as-cash and their mortgage. Now, they had six children. Took us on family vacations. Put all of us through additional education after our high school graduations. And retired quite comfortably. I wanted that legacy to continue. So, what budget tool would work for me? We had to diminish our debt so we tackled it by adapting our own methods. Debt Reduction Ain't Easy It took two tries at debt-consolidation to realize that was not the answer. In both cases we ended up with the loan to consolidate and added more debt onto our credit cards. No reduction happening, yet. Plus, I had an impulse buy issue.  You know those handy-dandy items located by the checkout lanes? Those were made for me. I would stand there and ...

So in our 30s we had little to no savings; 5-figure debt; two boys we wanted to send to college and then we needed to think about retirement. And our income was pretty small - I recall about $45k for our household. By now, I was a Primerica Financial Services representative (2nd job). Through Primerica I brokered mutual funds and talked to people about liquidating their whole / universal life insurance policies, buying term insurance and, with the money left over, save into mutual funds sheltered in an IRA for their future. We called this "buy term and invest the difference." Conversations covered how much money is enough for life insurance and how much is enough for retirement. Determining the life insurance piece was easy. Here's how: Think of the insurance as income-replacement. To your current salary, add a zero. That's the amount of life insurance you need. Example: Someone making a $25,000 annual salary would need $250,000 of life insurance. Dur...

Since my last post over a year ago, I've accomplished some crazy things. At least, crazy for me. I have completed two classes through two different organizations that empower me to help answer investment questions during formal training at Transformational Investing Workshops by Phil Town and I have completed my Financial Master Coach certification through Ramsey Solutions . If you had told past me as a young mother 30 or so years ago that I would be helping people with their financial goals, I probably would have laughed (possibly hysterically). The next several blogs will review this little journey. Hopefully, it will add to your life. Looking Back Our financial picture wasn't very good. We didn't have $1,000 saved in anything. No IRA. But we had credit cards. A lovely assortment of colorful plastic that were well used and "helped" us get from one paycheck to the next. This is the cover of the book I read. However, Crown Ministries still has c...

In my last post , I mentioned the writing of Christmas Redemption  and its presentation Dec. 10 and 11 at Aspen Park Baptist Church in Broken Arrow, OK. After we'd completed most of the writing, I was honored to lead a Bible study with the women of our church. The name is Fight Like a Girl  and was created by Lisa Bevere. In this study, Lisa reminds women about the amazing creation we are. She points out how important we are to God because He needed a solution to Adam's loneliness when He created Eve. She had a voice that was hidden inside Adam. God drew that voice out of Adam's side and made it so it could be heard together with Adam's. Teaching about the partnership and cooperation created in the garden of Eden was pretty cool. But even more amazing was living it out. In 1975 God brought my husband and me together and we married two-and-a-half years later. As I stated in my previous post , my husband is a melody man. He also loves words. He has written m...

Three years ago a friend, Steve Cowen, approached our minister of music, Tom Clark, about a drama he'd written. It was for Christmas. Tom pointed Steve to my husband, Scott, for the music needed to accompany the drama and then life took over. Typical interruptions: Illness. Death. Departures. Arrivals. Retirement. It's amazing how God brings about events in our lives to prepare us for tasks He has for us to complete. So earlier this year (2016) Scott and Steve decided now was the time to present the drama. Yeah - Scott and I wrote the music but that's the side story. The real story is God illustrating the beautiful mate and helpmate created when He originally designed man and woman. You see, Scott is a melody kind of person. When we listen to music, he will always sing or hum the melody. I, however, am a harmony person. When I listen to music, I always migrate to a harmony to sing or hum. So in 1977 when God put Scott and me together, he was prepa...

I don't think most of us realize what those three words spoken by Jesus Christ really mean. Do you remember in the garden when Eve and Adam ate of the forbidden fruit? At that time a schism was placed between our Creator and us. Enmity was set up between mankind and Satan. Those three words mark the destruction of that schism and the enmity is destroyed. But we don't live our lives that way, do we? So many of us know so much about our own faults that we don't understand the tremendous gift available to us. We have ourselves on our own minds so much we don't hear what Jesus did for us. We believe we must make ourselves worthy. Paul reminds us “in the body of His flesh through death, to present you holy, and blameless, and above reproach in His sight—” ‭‭Colossians‬ ‭1:22‬ ‭NKJV‬‬ Through death, Jesus gave us a covering of a perfect man. If you will accept that cover, God will look at you and see Jesus, the one perfect man who lived as God originally create...

For a moment, think about how desperately someone you know seems to need you. How does that feel? Flattering? Scary? Like you are being set up to fail? Are you even up to the task of being all they NEED you to be? Do you like that feeling? What emotions does it evoke when someone says to you "I need you so much."? Does that stress you out? This blows my mind to think about but bear with me as I try to write the words. God. Almighty. Complete. The unique being Who created us in His image. God. Infinite. Without need. I love seeing young people helping our elderly. Planting seeds for their future! Yet, somehow He needs you. He needs me. It's a need He started because He has chosen to love on His creation through you. Through me. Now does that stress you out? It shouldn't. Think for a second. Why would God who created you and knows everything about you - how you were made. WHY you were made. Purposes He created you particularly to fulfill - to co...

The blood moon. Photo by Andrew Brister . When I look at the moon I see me. Strange?  Think about it: the moon reflects the brightness (glory) of the sun. I reflect the glory of Christ, the Son of God. I considered all this the other night when we were able to watch the moon become a “blood moon”. It ever so slowly lost its brightness. It was covered in a redness that was very much like blood. Then, the corona came back and soon its full illumination was restored. I found it mesmerizing. As I was sharing with a friend the next day I realized how, once again, God provided His own witness to the world about the sacrifice His Son made for us. Once again He used His creation to show us the need we have for Him in our lives. How sin creeps into our lives and darkens our souls. How we lose our shine. Our newness. But then, ever so gently, He brings light – Truth – into our lives. As His Son showed us the Truth and we accept the Truth that God loves us. God want...

My niece posted this great image to Facebook. My bigs are still sleeping but this little tornado of trouble has already been up for an hour hammering, measuring, drawing, and figuring out life. As I read the comments one person said "Isn't it fun watching them work / play by themselves." It reminded me of Zephaniah 3:17 "The Lord your God in your midst, The Mighty One, will save; He will rejoice over you with gladness, He will quiet you with His love, He will rejoice over you with singing." Reflection I remember times I was able to quietly watch my children at play or work or even at rest. The joy it gave me to be in their presence without their unawareness is a little hard to describe. Then I consider "The Lord your God in your midst  ..." not IS in your midst. But already there, in your midst and we are going through our day "figuring out life". To think. As I fumble, rumble and grumble through my life, my Lord, ...

Am I being melodramatic? You be the judge. After 22 years I told my company I was no longer going to work for them. Slim Pickens in "Dr. Strangelove or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb" I felt like Slim Pickens in "Dr. Strangelove" riding the nuclear bomb. The fallout is just now starting to take hold and I've shaken some of my co-workers lives to the very core, I fear. Well, it had to happen. Scott sent me a link to a story that featured Muhammad Ali's wife and the dedication and devotion she has for him. I guess Scott sees me as lovingly devoted to him as she is.  (Those are tall shoes to fill, Scott, but by God's grace ...) It was quite a story! That story caused me to reflect on how poorly I'm taking care of myself. How could I possibly face down Parkinson's Disease if I don't take time to care for myself? How can I support us with proper nutrition if I haven't the time to even grocery shop - much l...

Remember the movie Galaxy Quest ? A wonderful parody of Star Trek starring Tim Allen, Sigourney Weaver and Justin Long ... to name a few. I often use this motto when I'm in the throes of something worthwhile and fighting to see it through to the end. It has been my experience that Anything I've done that I felt was God's will in my life has always faced tremendous adversity and giving up is one thing I used to do. However, one year, Scott and I vacationed in Grand Lake, Colorado. It was June ... Early June. There was a constant chill in the air and we wanted to do a lot of hiking.  Well, hiking at 60 or 70 pounds overweight is tough. Add the altitude and perseverance is critical. But on this particular trip God gave me  a lesson in perseverance that I will always remember. We decided to climb a mountain the first day there. We must have hiked for a solid two hours and then decided to turn around. We got tired. It was so pretty all along the way. So mu...